Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A game where everyone wins!

Disclaimer: this is a very true and very stupid story. No names were changed because I deserve no protection and am not innocent. No equines were harmed, though.Yet.

For years, I have wanted a gray pony just so I could name him Twilight. And then, THEN that stupid glittery vampire bullshit phenomenon ruined my imaginary pony's clever show name. Frrrrick. My pony would have been Team Jacob, btw. And he would have sparkled way more than Whatshisname. Mostly because of the hoof polish.

Anyway, now that the Peanut is getting older, my mom wants to get him a pony for real (I know. I would settle for a 529, but who tells a grandparent not to buy their child a pony? Lack of ponies is the leading cause of child psychosis. Or so I hear.) My family is not rich, by the way. They just have rich people's hobbies. Like playing polo, scuba diving and hunting snipe.

I am excited about the opportunity to name a real live pony yet worried that I won't be able to top Twilight. Chris suggested Chalkboard. Or Graystache. This has become our new game. Like the "that would make an awesome band name" game, but for ponies. Recent entries include Burritostache (I sense a theme forming) and Colcannon.

I suppose it would be wise to acquire the pony first, but my mom has a slight tendency to announce her grand intentions long before she actually does anything, if (big IF) she does it at all. Otherwise, I would be writing this from the Key West condo that she never bought. I will keep you posted on the naming of our hypothetical-pony. Suggestions welcome! We better do it quick before the kidlet thinks he has some kind of say in the matter. Or we all realize that buying a toddler a live animal that outweighs him by 700 pounds may not be such a wise idea. Also, that whole not being rich thing.

6 comments:

Sarah said...

No way!!!! They make HOOF polish?? I can't decide whether that's the best thing ever or highly disturbing :)

Elaine said...

How about naming the future/hypothetical pony "Cracker" since it's Colin's favorite word and the first one he ever said that I could understand?

eclemrush said...

The only thing better than hoof polish is glittery pony mane and tail gel:

http://www.statelinetack.com/item/twinkle-mane-and-tail-gel/SLT900470/

eclemrush said...

I will take Cracker under consideration. Unless it's a white/gray pony. Then it would just be racist.

Martin said...

Having once been young and having once been young and having a pony, I have to say that ponies are wasted on the young!

RobMonroe said...

Cracker = racist, no matter what color.

My favorite hypothetical band name ever has to be Purple Velvet Hat, but I don't think that translates to ponies...

(The catchpa I'm given to comment would not be bad: Promo)

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